Another new beginning

The title of this blog is the Spanish translation of the hymn “Amazing Grace.” I like the Spanish better, because in my life, grace comes not so often in amazing glory as in sublime, subtle, almost imperceptible movements that I must be paying close attention to catch. These movements are what Mary Oliver described after observing an owl's flight in which "everything trembles and then settles from mere incidence into the lush of meaning." This summer, I moved through a foggy, vague depression in the wake of finishing the Biggest Thing I Ever Done (my 300-page undergraduate thesis). One of the primary themes of this time for me was the nagging suspicion that I am not living my life very consciously. That I have not been doing so for a long time. Yet I also knew that perhaps the only reason I developed this nagging suspicion is that I am, in some small and painful way, starting to become more conscious. My challenge as I begin seminary, then, is to learn to pay attention. To really pay attention to each moment. From this, and only this, will grace emerge.